Hmm… where do I even begin?
I guess the start makes sense. My name's John. John Wick.
No, not that John Wick. I'm just a regular dude. I like anime, reading fanfics, thinking about writing them—and then immediately procrastinating. You know, the usual.
Anyway, this all started late one night. I was lying in bed, scrolling through some fanfic chapters, thinking maybe I'd start writing one myself. Just as I was getting into a really good one, I glanced at the time.
1:30 AM.
Sigh. "Guess I should sleep," I muttered. Summer break meant no more classes, but I still had a part-time job. Not that I liked it.
So I rolled over, closed my phone, and let sleep take me.
When I woke up the next morning, the sun was already blazing through the blinds.
I checked the clock.
Late. Extremely late.
But honestly? I didn't care. "Eh, I'll call in sick," I said to no one in particular. "Might even finish Bleach: Thousand-Year Blood War today."
But first—snacks. Can't binge a war arc without provisions.
I threw on some clothes, shoved my phone in my pocket, and headed to the corner store.
Ding!
The bell chimed as I walked in. Chips, beef jerky, maybe something sweet if I was feeling reckless.
That's when I heard it:
"Everybody get down on the ground unless you wanna die! This is a robbery!"
I froze. Then bolted behind the nearest aisle, heart thumping like a drumline. I peeked out.
There he was.
Tall. Masked. Screaming. And holding what had to be the most aggressively hot pink gun I had ever seen in my life. Like, Barbie joined the cartel levels of pink.
He waved the weapon around while yelling at the cashier to empty the register.
Now, listen. I know what I did next was stupid. Hero-level stupid. Anime protagonist kind of stupid.
But something came over me.
He turned his back to shout at the cashier again, and I thought, this is my moment.
I crept out, slowly. Quietly. Step by step. I was actually doing it.
Until…
WHAM.
I tripped. On air. Literally nothing. Like, the universe itself said, "Nah, sit down."
And if that wasn't bad enough? As I fell forward, the pink gunman turned.
Gun still in hand.
And guess where I landed?
Right on the muzzle.
In my mouth.
Yep.
Time froze. My brain short-circuited. I didn't think "Oh no." I didn't think "I'm gonna die."
Nope. My last thought was:
"Am I seriously about to die like the thot next door meme? But instead of a pink dildo… it's a gun?"
Then—bang.
Next thing I knew, I wasn't in my body anymore.
I wasn't in any body.
I was just… floating. A glowing blob of light in an infinite white void. No ground. No sky. No sense of time.
Just… me.
I don't know how long I drifted. Could've been minutes. Could've been millennia. But eventually, a voice echoed through the nothingness.
Smooth. Calm. Powerful.
"You died before your time… which is partially my fault."
I didn't even hesitate.
"Partially your fault? Yeah, no. I'm gonna need an explanation."
The voice sighed. Then explained.
Apparently, some so-called god thought it'd be hilarious to trip me at the exact moment that would lead to a bright pink death.
"So let me get this straight," I said, "a god tripped me on purpose, sent me face-first into a gun, and now I'm dead?"
"Yes. I apologize. To make it up to you, I'll grant you a few wishes. Since you died before your time, the afterlife technically doesn't have a place for you. So, you have two choices: reincarnate back on Earth—no wishes—or go to another world. Yes, all those anime and comic worlds are real."
I didn't even think.
"New world and wishes. Obviously. What kind of idiot chooses the first option?"
(Somewhere on Earth, a baby sneezed, and his helicopter parents rushed him to the ER.)
"Very well. Let's talk wishes. Standard rules apply: no wishing for more wishes, and no instant godhood. But almost anything else from anime, manga, and fanfics is fair game. This world is the origin of them all."
I nodded, already buzzing with excitement.
"If I were a fanfic protagonist," I muttered, "what would I want…?"
I thought it through.
First: Bloodlines. They're like cheat codes. But I didn't want to waste multiple wishes. So… what if I could take them?
Second: World-hopping. Rick's portal gun came to mind. Maybe if I could upgrade or adjust it, I could use it to travel across multiverses.
Third: Adaptability. I wanted to master magic, swing giant swords, fight like a badass, and remember everything like a genius.
"I'm ready," I said.
"Speak your first wish."
"First, I want a Gluttony-type skill—but upgraded. I want to devour bloodlines, perfect them, and assimilate them into myself."
"Acceptable. But know this: your soul has limits. If you absorb too much power, it will damage you. You'll need to strengthen your soul to handle more advanced bloodlines."
"Got it. That's fair. Now, second… Rick's portal gun. If I modified it outside the Central Finite Curve, would it let me travel to anime and comic universes?"
"Yes."
"Then I wish to go to the Rick and Morty world, about a month or two before Morty gains access to Rick's downloaded brain."
"Done."
"For my third wish, I want to have peak adaptability. I want my body to naturally adjust to any world I'm in. Give me the best possible talent in things like magic, combat, and intelligence."
"Granted. Your talents will scale from your original self. The better you were at something in life, the greater your potential. But you'll never be completely helpless."
"And for your final wish—your appearance—I'll read your mind and create it accordingly."
"Thank you," I said, practically vibrating from excitement.
"As a bonus, I'll grant you one more thing. You'll be able to change your age at will. However, this only changes your appearance. If you grow old and are near death, looking young won't save you."
A glowing light formed around me, and I felt myself being pulled away.
"Good luck, traveler. Your story begins… now."
Lmk which one you prefer the rewrite by ai or original