I could not stop thinking about what I had just done. I ignored her completely after she waited for me and we walked to school together.
'Why do I keep doing this?' I thought. 'Have I really been alone for so long that I forgot how to have a friend?'
It felt like every time we made some progress, I found a way to ruin it. I looked over toward her desk, but she was facing the front. I could only see the back of her head. I felt bad about it.
'That was a dick move,' I thought. 'I have to find a way to make it up to her.'
I was not sure how I was going to do that. Maybe I could just talk to her after class. I kept my eyes on my book, but I glanced around the room for a second. My eyes met Ronnie's from across the classroom. He was just staring at me. His expression was more pissed off than it had been before, which I did not think was possible. I just looked away from him and back down at my desk.
The rest of the lesson went by slowly. I just waited for the bell to ring. When it finally did, the sound made me jump. Everyone started moving and talking, getting their things ready for the break.
I looked over at Nina's desk again. She stood up right away and put her things in her bag. She moved fast, like she was in a hurry to leave. Without looking at anyone, she walked out of the classroom. It seemed like she did not want to see anyone right now.
'Should I follow her?' I thought. 'I could try to apologize now.'
I started to gather my own things, still thinking about it. Before I could make up my mind, someone walked up and stopped right next to my desk.
I looked up and saw that Ronnie was standing right next to my desk, just looking down at me.
'sigh, what does he want now?' I didn't really feel like having another confrontation, so I just stayed quiet and waited for him to say something.
He leaned down a little, putting one hand on my desk, his face was all tight and angry.
"What's your deal?" he asked, his voice low so only I could hear. "Why is she still talking to you?"
I felt myself get annoyed because this really had nothing to do with him. We were not doing anything, just walking to school, and it still made him mad.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, which was a lie, but I did not want to get into it with him.
"Don't play stupid with me," he said, pushing on my desk a little. "I saw you two this morning. You think you're so tough now? You think you can just move in on her?"
I looked at him, and I thought about just ignoring him, but I was tired of people bothering me about this. Nina and I had decided to be friends, and that was it.
"We were just walking," I said, trying to keep my voice even. "It's none of your business."
His face got even redder when I said that, and I could tell he was getting really pissed off. 'This was a mistake,' I thought. 'I should have just kept my mouth shut.'
"You need to stay away from her," he said, his voice was almost a hiss. "She's too good to be hanging out with some nobody who gets decked in the middle of class."
He was trying to get a reaction out of me, but I knew that if I said anything else, it would just make things worse. He wanted a fight, and I was not going to give him one. I just looked at him for a second, and then I turned my head and looked back down at the textbook on my desk.
I acted like he was not even there anymore.
He stayed there for a few more seconds, and I could feel him staring at the side of my head, but I did not look up. Finally, he made this frustrated noise and pushed himself off my desk. He turned around and walked back to his own seat without saying anything else.
After Ronnie walked away, I just sat there, my hands clenched on top of my textbook. 'I really am an idiot,' I thought. First, I hurt her feelings, and then when she tried to be friendly, I ignored her in front of everyone. It was not fair to her at all. She was just trying.
I decided right then that I did not care anymore. I did not care if people whispered or stared. I had to find her and apologize for being such a jerk. I pushed my chair back and stood up, my sore ribs protesting the sudden movement. I ignored the ache and started walking toward the classroom door, my limp making me feel clumsy.
The hallway was still crowded with students, and the moment I stepped out, the noise level dropped. I could hear the whispers starting up around me, following me as I walked.
"What's he doing now?" someone muttered.
"He's probably looking for Nina," another voice said. "Did you see them this morning? She walked with him."
"No way, I heard Tyler beat him up yesterday because of her."
I kept my eyes focused on the floor in front of me, trying to block them out. I checked the library first, my eyes scanning the quiet tables and rows of books, but she was not there. I headed to the cafeteria next, the loud chatter and smell of food making my stomach feel uneasy. I looked through the crowd, but I could not see her anywhere.
'Where would she go?' I wondered, a feeling of frustration starting to build.
There was only one place left that I could think of. I walked toward the stairwell at the end of the hall. The rooftop was supposed to be off-limits, but I knew the door was sometimes left unlocked.
'It's a long shot,' I thought, 'but I have to check.'
I took the stairs one at a time, my legs feeling heavy. When I got to the top landing, I saw the heavy metal door was slightly ajar. I pushed it open slowly, the hinges making a quiet groaning sound, and stepped out into the bright afternoon sunlight.
And then I saw her. Nina was standing near the far edge of the roof with her back to me. 'She's here,' I thought, a wave of relief washing over me. But the feeling disappeared as soon as it came. She was not alone. Tyler was standing right in front of her, and it looked like they were in the middle of a serious conversation.