I stood there, just peeking through the small gap in the doorway. Tyler and Nina. They were standing close, and whatever they were talking about looked serious. I couldn't make out any words, just the way Tyler was gesturing with his hands and how Nina was standing with her arms crossed, looking at the ground.
'Was the breakup even real?' The thought hit me so fast it felt like a physical blow. Maybe I'd gotten it all wrong. Maybe this was them working things out, and I was just the weird, temporary drama that had brought them back together.
And then this feeling, this awful, tight feeling, just seized my chest. It wasn't like the ache in my ribs. This was sharper, deeper. It felt like my stomach had just dropped out of my body. For a second, it was hard to breathe.
'What the hell is this?' I thought, my hand instinctively going to my chest. 'Am I jealous?'
No. That was stupid. I couldn't be jealous. We were just friends. I didn't even like her like that, I'd already decided that. This was something else. It was... disappointment, maybe.
The thought that she might have lied to me, or that I was just a pawn in their relationship drama, that's what hurt. Yeah, that had to be it.
I didn't want to watch anymore. It wasn't my business. Sticking my nose in would only make things more complicated than they already were. I had come up here to apologize for being a jerk, not to spy on her getting back together with her ex.
Slowly, carefully, I pulled the door back toward me. I made sure it didn't make a sound, letting it close until it was just ajar, exactly how I'd found it. Then I turned and started walking back down the stairs, my limp feeling heavier than it had a few minutes ago.
Each step down felt like a retreat. I kept telling myself it was the right thing to do. This wasn't the time to talk to her. Not when she was in the middle of... whatever that was.
'I'll just apologize later,' I told myself as I reached the bottom of the stairwell and walked back into the noisy hallway. 'In class, or after school. When she's alone.'
It sounded like a good plan, a smart plan. But that tight, sinking feeling in my chest didn't go away. It just sat there.
I made it back to the classroom and collapsed into my chair. My mind was stuck, replaying that one single image: Nina and Tyler on the roof, standing close.
'Why did that bother me so much?' I thought, rubbing my face with my hands. I told myself it was because it looked like she might have been lying about the breakup. That was a perfectly good reason to feel annoyed. But the feeling in my chest wasn't just annoyance. It was that same tight, sinking feeling from before, and it was getting harder to ignore.
'Sigh, why am I getting so worked up over this?' I leaned forward and rested my forehead on my desk. This was the exact opposite of what I wanted. I was the guy who stayed out of stuff like this. I was supposed to be the quiet loner, not the guy feeling his stomach twist because of some girl. This was all just too much.
"There you are, man!"
I didn't even have to look up. I knew that voice. A chair scraped the floor next to me as Jake sat down, leaning in like we were sharing secrets.
"So, where'd you go?" he asked, his voice buzzing with that nosy energy of his. "Did you talk to her? Is everything good again?"
I lifted my head and just looked at him. "It's nothing, Jake."
"Nothing? Come on," he said, lowering his voice. "The whole class is waiting for the next episode. What's the gossip? Is the thing with Tyler really over, or was that just a fight? I heard he was looking for her earlier."
Hearing him ask the same question that was bouncing around in my own head just made me feel worse. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't even want to think about it anymore.
"I don't know," I said again, my voice flat. I kept my eyes fixed on the front of the room, hoping Jake would get the hint and leave me alone. My ribs throbbed, my mind was already full of the day's events, the thought of dealing with any more drama was exhausting.
Jake, however, was not a hint-taker. He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Come on, man. You gotta know something. Did she say anything? Is the thing with Tyler really over, or was that just a fight? I heard he was looking for her earlier."
I felt a familiar wave of annoyance wash over me. This was exactly what I wanted to avoid. "I don't know," I repeated, my voice a little sharper this time. "Just drop it."
He was quiet for a second, and I could feel him studying me. "Whoa," he said finally, his tone shifting from excited to something more… analytical. "You're really bent out of shape about this, aren't you?"
I just stared at the textbook in front of me, wishing I could disappear.
"I mean," he continued, his voice a little too casual, "the way she was looking at you when she was helping you up? That wasn't just a 'friend' look."
My head snapped up, and I looked him dead in the eye. "She was just worried," I said, my voice firm. "I just got punched in the face, remember?"
"Yeah, but—"
The shrill ring of the bell cut him off, a welcome interruption. Break was over.
"Saved by the bell," Jake muttered, looking more annoyed than anything. He stood up. "Alright, man. But if you change your mind, you gotta tell me first. I gotta know this stuff." He grinned, that nosy glint back in his eyes, and walked back to his own desk.
I sighed and started pulling out my textbooks for the next class. It was math, not my favorite, but at least it was usually pretty chill. As I fumbled with my backpack, I risked a glance over at Nina's desk.
She was staring at me.
Her eyes met mine for a split second, and then – poof – she was looking away, her gaze fixed on her own desk like it held the secrets of the universe.
'Oh yeah,' I thought. 'She is mad asf.'