With Ayumi's help, we carried Jinta-kun to the bedroom. Gintaro, Ayumi's brother, helped us lay him down on some towels placed on the bed, while asking us to get out so he could begin undressing him.
Sitting on the living room sofa, my hands trembled with anxiety; I didn't know how long my beloved Jinta had been walking in the relentless rain, but I could only guess from the cold sensation of his skin under my fingers.
What had happened to his face? Just seeing that bruise on his swollen cheek and his split lip made my blood boil, wanting to face whoever had done that to him. Someone as noble as Jinta didn't deserve such treatment. I couldn't understand how his mother could have said such cruel words, especially when the poor man was silently battling his illness. As if she didn't want to bother anyone else.
I'm almost certain that if I hadn't been with him that day at the hospital, he'd be just as ignorant as my sister or his mother. Jinta-kun would never have told me, because that's just how he is. Carrying the full weight of his heart, a smile on his lips.
- "I already helped him take a warm bath in the tub and gave him a change of clothes, I'm going to leave him lying down in my room. Sister, I'm going out to the bar, the guys in my band and I have to perform an opening number. I'll be back tomorrow, make sure you lock the door properly." – Dressed in a black hoodie, his right ear was covered in piercings. Gintaro, my friend Ayumi's older brother, was about five years older than her.
With the sudden death of their parents, they were left in the care of their maternal grandparents and grew up supporting each other.
- "Thanks, Gin, I owe you one." – Watching them say goodbye so affectionately made me a little envious; if only my relationship with Hana had been like this, we could have been a family.
- "Hey Mariko, now that we're alone, I want you to be honest with me. What the hell was that I saw a few minutes ago? Isn't that guy you just brought with you the ace of the track team? Why did he look like someone beat the shit out of him?"
- "Ayumi-san, please don't say that kind of thing. Jinta-kun isn't the kind of guy who just gets into fights." Unlike Akira or Kaede, my personal relationship with Ayumi was a bit more like addressing an older person. While I was barely turning 18, my friend Ayumi was already 20 years old.
Due to certain issues with a teacher at school, Ayumi was forced to drop out of school for a year and a half, having to repeat part of her second year of school and falling behind in her graduation process.
When we first met, she joined the craft club, forced by our school counselor. My first impression of her was that of a tough girl like the gals you often see in shoujo manga; but as the months went by, I realized my perception of her was completely wrong.
Contrary to her wild appearance, Ayumi is a girl who enjoyed anime and manga, and would queue up until dawn waiting for the release of a volume of her favorite manga if it was on a limited sale. In addition, she maintained a side Instagram account where she posted photos of herself modeling cosplay with her group of friends.
Even though we had a good relationship as friends, I never wanted to ask her why she had to drop out of school; it wasn't something I felt she wanted to tell anyone. But on the occasions when rumors about her were whispered in the hallways, she would just click her tongue and maintain a melancholic gaze.
- "Look, Mariko, I know we haven't known each other for very long. But you know I consider you a good friend, and that's why I'm helping you. However, I want you to be honest with me; the guy you just brought is your sister's boyfriend; they're not just anyone. Are you really just friends?" Placing a cup of warm green tea in front of me, Ayumi leaned forward slightly to put her face in front of mine, grabbing the back of my head and stroking a few strands of my hair between her fingers.
Even though that gesture seemed friendly, I knew perfectly well it was a warning. If I dared to cheat on her, not only could I lose a good friend, but my physical safety could also be compromised. Ayumi had a very strict code about not getting involved with people who were in a relationship.
"I'm not going to lie to you. You don't need to intimidate me. Yes, I love Jinta-kun. However, I know my love is only an unrequited feeling, and I have to settle for a simple friendship." Ayumi's fingers tightened slightly in my hair, feeling the light tug on my scalp as she rested her forehead against mine. Her inquisitive eyes were like those of a wildcat, analyzing every movement of my pupils as if searching for even a hint of falsehood.
- "Uffff. Okay, I believe you. Knowing you, I know you're a girl who's incapable of lying under pressure, so you passed my test. If you had seen my face, you can be sure I would have kicked you and the wonder boy from track and field out of the house."
- "Hey, that's too cruel!"
- "Oh, come on. It's not like you're going to suffer much with that beautiful chubby ass of yours." – Sitting in front of me with a laugh, Ayumi took a pack of cigarettes out of her pants pocket.
- "Ayumi, at least wait until I leave the room."
- "Tch. You're too fussy, sweetheart; you should relax a little more and at least accompany me like a good passive smoker. Besides, this is my house and these are my rules." – With that defiant attitude she always had, Ayumi lit the cigarette and went to sit by the window that faced the street.
- "Thanks, I think so." – Keeping our distance, separated only by the dining room, we began to talk out loud about our plans to go to Comiket in two weeks.
- "Mariko, do you have the costume sketches finished? I already talked to my friend, and she says she wants to give them a final once-over to see if they match the concept art for her doujin."
"Ayumi-san, about that..." Nervously fiddling with my hands, I began to tell her what had happened that morning with Hana. With each part of my story, Ayumi became increasingly tense, to the point that she threw her cigarette out onto the street and hurriedly walked over to me.
- "That fucking bitch! Tell me, where do I hit you? That fucking bitch! Who does she think she is to scare my marshmallow with legs?" – Ayumi's hands ran all over my body looking for any part that hurt, while in her eyes there was a look of genuine concern that contrasted with her scathing words.
- "Ayumi, I'm fine. It only hurts that she broke my things, but my body is fine." – Trying to smile at her in a hidden way, my eyes shed a few tears due to the warmth with which my friend treated me.
- "If only you were my sister…" – It was the fleeting thought that crossed my mind when suddenly a loud sound coming from Gintaro-kun's room made us get up from the sofa to go check.
- "Jinta-kun!" – Lying on his knees on the floor, Jinta seemed disoriented upon waking up in that place unknown to him.
- "Mariko-chan, where are we?"
- "Calm down, Jinta-kun. We're at a friend's house. She kindly offered to shelter us from the rain." – Like a child who had just woken up from a bad dream, Jinta's eyes looked distressed as he tried to sit up in bed.
- "Thank you so much for letting us into your house, I'm really sorry for the inconvenience!" – With a shy attitude, Jinta bowed his head to Ayumi, who told him that it was no problem and that any friend of mine was welcome in her house.
- "Mariko-chan, I'm afraid to ask, but did you change my clothes?" – Realizing that the clothes he was wearing were not the ones he had left his house in, Jinta blushed at the thought that I had taken care of him.
- "Jinta…"
- "Calm down, cutie, there's nothing I haven't seen before! Besides, I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed about with that body of yours." – Interrupting me before I could answer Jinta-kun, Ayumi made that statement with such seriousness that no one would think it was a joke in bad taste.
- "Oh, my god! I'm so sorry for causing you so much trouble!" – Throwing himself to the ground on his knees with his forehead touching the floor, Jinta-kun had such an embarrassed appearance that it made Ayumi laugh so hard it brought tears to her eyes.
- "Ha, ha, ha, ha. I can't stand this guy, he's too innocent! Sorry, Wonder Boy, it's just a joke. I could never be too harsh on one of Little Marshmallow's friends. My brother changed his clothes and gave you a bath to get rid of the cold." – With his face completely red, Jinta changed his gloomy expression for a more cheerful one, slightly annoyed at having fallen for my friend's joke.
- "Miss, that was too much!"
- "Oh, how fitting to talk to a lady, it shows you're a gentleman. Since you're my sweetie's friend, you can call me Ayumi." Wrapping her arm around my waist to press her body against mine, Ayumi tested Jinta-kun's temperament to see how he would react.
- "Are you two?"
- "No, Jinta-kun, it's not what you think!" – I was completely nervous. This time, Ayumi had gone too far with the joke, and my nerves were about to explode. Realizing this, Ayumi let me go and clarified with Jinta that we were just good friends.
- "Relax, Wonder Boy, I don't bat for that team. Although if I had been born a man, rest assured I wouldn't have hesitated to take little Mariko as my girlfriend. It's not because we're friends, but anyone who stood by her side would be the luckiest man in the world."
- "Yes, you're right, Miss Ayumi." – My friend remained silent for a brief couple of seconds upon hearing the tone of voice with which Jinta responded, before breaking into a smile as she placed her hand on the back of her neck.
- "Hey, hey, hey. It seems I really like you, Jinta-kun. We might become good friends. So keep taking good care of little Mariko." With a relaxed expression on her face, Ayumi touched my shoulder and whispered a few words in my ear that made me shudder.
- "Okay, I'll leave you two alone for a while. I'll go smoke a cigarette in the hall while I make a call. Take your time." Left completely alone in that room, an awkward silence fell over the room as I searched for the right words to break the ice.
My heart raced in my chest as I gazed at Jinta's masculine silhouette on the bed, as if my most primitive instinct tempted me to throw myself at him, throwing reason to the winds.
- "Mariko-chan, it must have been hard for you to take care of a useless person like me. Thank you for taking care of me." – Bringing me out of my trance, Jinta-kun's pitiful attitude shook my nerves, making me grab him by the shoulders, gritting my teeth.
- "Hey, do you think I'd take care of a useless person? Do I strike you as the kind of person who would look at you with pity? Come to your senses, Jinta-kun, what your mother told you is pure bullshit! Look me in the eyes, she doesn't know what she's missing!"
- "Mariko-chan, she's my mother. Of course, what she thinks of me must affect me; all these years I've fought, I've fought for her to look at me. For her to recognize my worth and be able to smile at me once more. But, I don't think you can understand." – That last sentence lit a fire that had remained moistened in my heart for so many years, that it only took a second for it to explode uncontrollably.
Throwing Jinta-kun onto the bed, I sat on him and pressed my hands tightly against his shoulders, preventing him from getting up. As if a taut thread had snapped in my head, I began to laugh uncontrollably while tears continued to flow down my cheeks and fall onto Jinta's face.
- "I can't understand you? What a great joke, you're really making me laugh. Hey, do you think you're the only one who's fought for recognition? Have you ever felt like the person you love the most looks at you with disgust and indifference? I've been doing it for years, you hear me, years. Ever since my mother cheated on my father, I've been fighting for that man to see me as his daughter again. But you know? No matter how hard I tried to get him to acknowledge me, he always saw in me the face of the woman who cheated on him.
You know what the stupidest thing is? One day I stopped looking for him, thinking that if I lived as if I were dead, without making a sound or looking for him, maybe he'd reconsider. Ha, ha, ha. I even gained weight so I wouldn't look like my mother anymore. Funny, isn't it? I thought if I turned into this monstrosity that no man would lay a hand on, maybe he'd stop thinking about my mother.
Do you think I like eating like a pig? By the time I realized it, I couldn't stop. Even though I knew he wouldn't love me back, I couldn't stop stuffing my mouth with junk food.
And you know what the worst part is? I felt good! Every bite made me feel better, but when I finished eating, I felt that emptiness again.
"Look at us, Jinta-kun! You trained your body to compete so your mother would notice you, while I destroyed mine for the same purpose. Don't we make a good pair of idiots?" My body couldn't stop shaking, my eyes were already burning from crying so much and my throat hurt from the effort of shouting softly to avoid Ayumi's attention.
- "You see, Jinta-kun! Of course I can understand you, you selfish bastard. I can understand you because we are both completely broken. We were just toys for a pair of immature children who call themselves parents." Suddenly, Jinta freed himself from my grip and placed his left hand on my back and his right on my head; pushing my body against his, caressing me slowly, making me realize that I was completely at his mercy.
Even though I wanted that to happen, my heart felt uneasy at the possibility of the boy I like moving on.
- "Jinta-kun?"
- "I'm sorry, Mariko-chan. I had no idea you felt this way. Please forgive me for being so stupid and not realizing how much you were suffering while a selfish fool like me relied on you." After hearing him lament like that, my body gave out completely, and I responded to his hug by kissing him on the cheek, dangerously close to his lips.
- "Mariko!"
- "Shhhh, please. Don't say anything else. At least let me have this as compensation." Whispering those words in his ear, I got out of bed, straightening my shirt and putting my hair back in my ponytail. Looking at my face in the mirror, I wiped my tears as I saw the reflection of a confused Jinta, touching his fingertips to the spot where my lips had rested a moment ago.
- "Mariko-chan. Wait a moment, I have something to say."
- "No, Jinta-kun. Let's not talk about this for now. I promise we'll talk as much as you want another time. But we must go now. Tomorrow, when our emotions have calmed down, we can talk peacefully." As I left the room, Ayumi was waiting for me, leaning against the wall next to the door, with a serious expression while smoking a cigarette.
"Hey, marshmallow, follow me." Unable to respond, I nodded and walked with her to the front of the house, hoping she'd keep her word and kick me out for taking advantage of a vulnerable boy. But far from that, her hand placed itself on my shoulder and she sighed deeply.
- "Mariko, did I ever tell you why I had to drop out of school during my junior year?"
"No, this is the first time you've mentioned it." Gently guiding me to a small bench under a small shed, Ayumi took out her phone and showed me a photo from the gallery. In it, a dark-skinned boy was hugging Ayumi, who had a smile of happiness like I'd never seen before.
"His name is Sonoda Takeru. He was the student council president during my senior year of high school. Brilliant and eloquent, always willing to help any student who approached him. Even a girl like me, who was branded a delinquent, was just another student in his eyes. Without prejudice, he always approached me and asked how I was; he was interested in even the smallest details, making my heart slowly succumb to him." Taking a deep drag on her cigarette, Ayumi raised her face and threw her arms over the back of the bench, letting out a light laugh filled with nostalgia and regret.
- "Like a fool in love, I fell completely for him. One afternoon when he was alone in the student council room, I went to find him to help him with the paperwork. I'm so clumsy with numbers, can you imagine me managing the clubs' balance sheets and accounting? Well, believe it or not, I did. Of course, he ended up correcting most of my mistakes, but he never held it against me." As he continued speaking, the cigarette in his hand burned completely, burning his fingers, but instead of letting go, he clutched the cigarette butt. As if trying to hide the tears falling down his face with the burn.
- "When we were about to finish and leave, he got a call on his cell phone and asked me to wait for him in the student council room. I told him it was no problem, that I'd be waiting for him. And there I sat, sitting in a chair like an obedient fool. But 30 minutes passed, and Takeru didn't return.
I tried to contact him with texts, but he didn't respond to any of them. So I grew impatient and went out to look for him in every classroom and even in the clubs, thinking he might be arguing with some manager because his budget hadn't been approved.
But suddenly, some strange sounds caught my attention in the home economics classroom. You know, they say curiosity kills the cat; I really thought it was a stupid saying because cats are smart. How could a curious cat die?
Hey, hey, hey. But the stupid cat opened the classroom door and that's when her heart broke, she realized that curiosity had really killed her." Crying deeply, Ayumi told me that inside the classroom were Takeru and the homeroom teacher, having sex without the slightest concern.
The moment they were discovered, Takeru pounced on her, knocking her to the ground, covering her mouth with his hand as he ripped off the buttons of her blouse.
Instead, the teacher dressed hurriedly while murmuring fearfully that her career was over.
"Calm down, teacher. I have a plan." In a malicious tone, Takeru ripped Ayumi's panties and lifted her skirt. He also broke the clasp on her bra, exposing her breasts. He took photos with his cell phone of a poor Ayumi who was barely able to react from the shock.
Threatening to expose those photos on the internet, Takeru and the teacher intimidated my poor friend, making her life hell during class periods.
Ayumi never went back to the student council; every time she ran into Takeru or the teacher in the hallways, her body trembled with fear just remembering the threatening words of the student council leader.
Unable to bear the pressure, Ayumi began to get so ill that she had to be hospitalized twice due to gastritis and nervous breakdowns. So, unable to bear it any longer, she decided to drop out of school and retreat to her home.
- "Ayumi, why are you telling me all this?"
- "Marshmallow, when I see how you react around Wonder Boy, I see the naive me from my past. A girl who falls in love easily and can't see what's beyond her nose. I just don't want you to end up like me."
- "Ayumi, Jinta is not that kind of boy."
- "Ha, ha ha. You really are so innocent. You may be right and Jinta isn't the trash I got involved with. But tell me, if your sister managed to turn him against you, could you resist? It only took a few words from the teacher for Takeru to tear my life to pieces; so tell me, what would stop Hana from doing the same? Are you sure Jinta would protect you?" – Looking me in the eyes with complete conviction, Ayumi took my hands, seeking an answer from me. I, who felt confident in myself, faltered a little at that moment and stammered, thinking of my stepsister.
Would things be the same with me as they were with Ayumi? When I was about to give my answer, Jinta-kun appeared through the door wearing the clothes he was wearing when we arrived.
"Sorry to intrude, but I grabbed my clothes from the dryer in the bathroom. Did I come at a bad time?" Letting go of my hands, Ayumi stood up from the bench and dusted off her pants, shaking her head in denial, then patted me lightly on the head as she told Jinta nothing had happened.
- "It's a little late, I've called an app taxi to pick you up. In fact, I think it's almost here. And don't worry, the fare's on me."
- "Ayumi, I can't accept that!"
- "Calm down, marshmallow, I took up too much of your time with our chat. Besides, I'm doing really well with my part-time job and the photobooks." Smiling peacefully, Ayumi's eyes had a tired expression to the point that she began to yawn.
- "Look, it's here. So go, I need to go to sleep." Giving me a light slap, Ayumi pushed Jinta and me away while waving goodbye.
"I'll see you tomorrow at Mariko's club. I'll tell my friend to give us a little more time. So do your best." Knowing how uncomfortable she felt, I didn't say anything else and walked Jinta to the taxi, traveling in silence the entire way until we arrived at the bakery.
- "Mariko, are you sure you don't want to talk now?"
"No, Jinta-kun, tomorrow would be better. I'll see you in the afternoon. Is that okay?" With a worried expression, Jinta couldn't help but nod at my refusal and closed the car door. Glancing at him in the rearview mirror, a pang pierced my chest as I saw him downcast as he climbed the stairs to the apartments.
- "Jinta-kun, forgive me for being such a bitch. But I've decided in my heart that I'm going to fight for you. I can't let that damn sister of mine do to you the same thing my mother did to my father. Jinta, I can't see you as just a friend anymore; that's not enough for me anymore." – Lost in my thoughts, the car continued along the planned route until I finally reached my home.