I ran until the night could no longer follow me—until the weight in my chest collapsed into stillness. My legs didn't stop because I wanted them to. They stopped because they gave out. There, in the thick of silence, something pressed down on me heavier than exhaustion.
I walked without knowing where I was going, just letting the emptiness guide me, until I reached the one place where nothing demanded answers—my room.
Behind the closed door, the air felt different. Heavier. Still. Like something had been waiting.
I sat on the edge of the bed. My hands cold, my breath short. Thoughts tumbled over one another.
Why does he keep showing up in my head? Why won't it stop? Why do I feel like he's still close?
I didn't know who I was trying to convince. I reached for the lamp and switched it off. The room drowned in a shadow that didn't feel like mine.
And then—
"Kai?"
The voice came not from outside, nor from within. It hovered in the fog between dreams and memory. I turned, searching through that drifting haze of black and white light. There he was—Souh. Or something like him.
I reached out.
But the moment I did, he dissolved—vanished into darkness. And in his place, a face I didn't recognize stared back at me. Pale. Expressionless. Eyes like coal.
"Do you like Souh?"
The voice struck like a blade, slicing me awake. My body shot up, cold sweat on my neck. My breath caught. My heart raced.
My fingers pressed hard against my eyes, as if trying to erase the question.
Was I scared… of being hated? Of being rejected? Or was it the idea that if I saw him again, I wouldn't know how to look at him?
and then a thing caught my eyes
A sudden breeze swept through the room. The curtains swayed like pale ghosts.
I closed the window. I know I did.
But I didn't chase the thought. Not tonight.
Still, something stirred inside me. Something that whispered—was it the six sence?
but so I did.
I moved toward the window, and just as I reached to close it, I caught sight of it—a shadow. Watching. Then vanishing in a blink, like it had been caught.
Was it real?
The days that followed blurred together. But the feeling didn't leave. I couldn't explain it, but I knew—I was being watched. Not with curiosity. Not with warmth.
With precision.
and then after a few days I walked home through back alleys, swallowed in darkness. Somewhere in that silence, I felt it again—a presence behind me, close but never touching.
I didn't turn around. I just listened. To the quiet. To the breath of something that might not have been human.
Was I being followed?
Part of me wanted to see what would happen if I stopped. If I let it catch up.
But in the end, I walked faster, eyes forward, pretending it was nothing. Pretending I didn't care and reached home like nothing happened in the same house same bed dark night.
eventually, even that vanished. Like fog in morning sun. The shadow was gone. Or so I told myself. I busied my mind with homework. Buried my nights in pages I couldn't focus on.
But still, he returned. In dreams. In silence. In moments when I was alone. Souh's name clung to everything like dust that wouldn't wipe away.
And then a year passed.
The air changed. The light grew warmer.
Summer arrived, uninvited. Like everything else.
I opened my eyes slowly. The ceiling above me felt unfamiliar. My body heavy, my chest hollow. I sat up and reached for my phone.
2021/7/1
Four years.
I stared at the screen longer than I should have. Still no sign of you, Souh.
The ache had dulled—but not disappeared. I told myself it didn't matter.
The shower was cold. Just how I liked it now. It didn't comfort me, but it reminded me I was still here.
Water dripped slowly from my hair to the floor.
"Kai, dry your hair first. You're disgusting."
I smiled. He never meant it. And he never dried his own either. But he always dried mine.
The memory faded. I grabbed a towel. I dressed. And I slammed the door behind me.
Running had become a routine. A way to escape from questions I couldn't answer.
The trees that lined the road whispered with green, as if they too had secrets. Maybe I was getting better at pretending. Maybe not.
Then I saw him.
Sai.
The world paused for a moment, as if unsure how to continue.
Could it be?
Hope flickered—but fear smothered it just as quickly.
Don't get your hopes up.
But hope is stubborn.
I followed it.
A sleek black car sat in the distance. Sai stepped out. His face was no longer the same—it had hardened. The mischief was gone. He wore a dark blazer, matching his black hair with his cousinTai that stood beside him , more grown-up than I remembered, with chestnut brown hair and a beige shirt tucked neatly into black pants.
Sia was already there. When he saw me, his expression shifted—something between curiosity and mockery.
"Kai? Is that really you?" his voice slithered with a smile. "You've grown. You used to look like a pocket-sized mushroom."
I stayed quiet.
"You're still shy, huh? Little guy?"
he laughed lightly, but his words clung to something bitter.
I turned toward Tai. "Is Souh with you?"
Tai's face shifted. The silence stretched, as if the question had reached too deep.
"Kai..." I heared Tai's voice
But Sai's glance cut him off before he could finish.
Sai stepped forward, his voice too casual to be innocent. "Who knows? Maybe he's still haunting that old park—behind the old house, down the hill. In the forest you know right?"
Of course i knew where it is... our old shelter " i see " i answered with a smail
But Tai narrowed his eyes. "Sai, you know he—"
But Sai didn't let him finish.
"Don't worry," he said with a smirk. "Pretty sure Kai's legs won't break."
happenes didn't let me care what Tai's face looked like anymore. I didn't care about the cold in Sai's voice.
I just turned around.
And I walked.
Toward the park. Toward a house i was familiar with. Toward a shadow I hadn't let go of.
And with every step, a storm of emotions stirred inside me—joy, dread, longing, and something else I couldn't name.
Something was waiting for me.
And it had been waiting for a long time.