Arthur
In this world there are many truths.
Some that are fake, some half truths and some delusions.
In fact, the human mind wasn't born to understand what true really means.
The human mind could only conceive a mix of lies and truths to keep walking in their own pathway.
My mind conceived that I died.
It should be a human delusion again.
Unfortunately that wasn't a human delusion.
Simply because I wasn't human anymore.
I understand what true is.
…
The bad thing about having studied so much about nature and myself was knowing that at some point It wasn't me.
I wasn't something natural.
The evidence was irrefutable, It wasn't a question of the paradox of the ship of Theseus, in which in the end It would remain at least similar. I was something new and I knew it, I knew that I had been something that was no longer.
Science born to explain nature, not to comfort my heart.
As I came to realize later, the identity, the ego, was somewhat more fragile than I had imagined.
So, I gave up about my past, one I no longer even remembered.
To adapt myself to my new reality I thought the very first step was giving a new name.
Arthur, the name of a king immortalized by history.
Arthur Pendragon was a warrior and king chosen by fate. Just like me at this moment. His sacred blade is an eternal symbol for everyone to remember that God was not on their side but his side.
But that wasn't enough, as I still need a surname. I could choose one, but that wouldn't be fun.
I must receive It.
I must deserve It.
And I will…
When they hear my name, no one will be frivolous. Knowing that they were facing their potentially greatest enemy or ally, they will pay some respect to me.
Walking mindlessly through a cave of clear crystals, I gazed lightly at the landscape around. Various images were projected onto the crystals, almost like inflexible security cameras.
There were so many reflections out there, many things considered elegant had a duty to reflect their brilliance. As such, accessing the residence of a nobleman or two was not difficult, in fact it was very convenient.
This was the mirror world, a magical world, but not unique. Just my favorite from my memories. It was here that I spent my first days as a newborn being, trapped.
Magical chains tried to hold me. but honestly it wasn't a challenge to break free.
A wolf in a trap learns to chew off its own paw to escape, that is the price of freedom.
The challenge, however, was to learn how to navigate on the sea of mirrors.
What was more like a mind illusion than a real thing. This was the way I could understand It.
And of course, how to survive...
I still feel hungry, I still feel pain, I still have my own dreams.
But it was different from before. it seemed that I wasn't hungry for my stomach, but for something more essential. The weakness manifested after getting hungry wasn't physical either, but mental.
My mind was deteriorating.
My thoughts became limited and inflexible.
Then my form began to fade.
Suddenly I stopped, leaning at one of the precious reflections that told me everything. In them I saw a servant girl, she was screaming loudly, while a man grabbed her from behind and pushed against her hips hard.
The situation seemed cheerful and happy, nothing unusual... except that there are about ten more of these reflections around me. All of them with loud cries to their own evil deities, scream full of profanity and pleasure.
The same scene from new angles.
They don't have cell phones or TVs, that's probably why…
Soon they would thank me.I don't wanna see any more of this.
I will teach them how to make real entertainment.
I sighed, but soon realized something more interesting. It was getting dark in the world of devils. The light was receding, so the world of reflections that depended on light would diminish and then fall apart.
As for the dimension of shadows, it would expand. The ordinary shadows of the world will become longer and deeper, connecting to each other. Forming a bridge that I could easily cross.
Shadows of course, weren't true darkness. That was another thing I didn't dare to explore.
It fries my brain to understand how these dimensions work.
Everything seemed unnatural.
Honestly, it couldn't have been more laborious.
I eagerly searched among the reflections for one that was close to a person's shadow, one that was as deep as possible.
When I found it, I simply broke it, shattering into a thousand pieces.
The mirror world was falling apart.
On the other side,the void greeted me...
well it was strange to be honest, indescribable. It was like asking a blind person what they saw, it wasn't black or white, it was the simplest and purest nothingness. And that's what was so terrifying.
I didn't want to imagine what would happen if I fell in.
In front of the void. I waited for my transportation, which was slowly approaching along with the woman, and was part of the woman.
Shadows accompany us since birth.
Strangely, in this hopeless void, a layer of color began to appear on the horizon. A black ocean ,with tons of black crystals breaking its surface, appeared connecting.
I start to connect to her shadow.
Shadows were an intimate part of someone's soul, as well as their reflection and dreams and as so at this point I could cause many kinds of damage.
But there were some differences between each one.
Dreams can show a lot about people. Even if they are hard to get something.
Shadows were heavy and loaded with bad feelings, but they knew many hidden and shady truths.
A person's light, their reflection, carries with it a world of appearances and acts, as well tons of useful knowledge.
As seen with this girl,She couldn't even discover what was happening.
This innocent, kind-faced woman could suffer great losses at my hands.And even so,she wasn't aware of my presence.
What a cute fool…
Smiling, I analyzed her more deeply, she would be the type to ask why I would hurt someone like her who had nothing, she was just a girl, a poor young and innocent girl.
…
In the real world, a beautiful and detailed vase of flowers had broken out of nowhere.
The sudden break of the silence catches the gaze of a less naughty maid. She approached as fast as possible with her hands on the forehead with eyes wide open.
"No no!, not on my shift!" Her delightful and innocent appearance with brown hair, acting energetic and tense. She quickly started to collect the sharp pieces.
"How the fuck I will explain this!" Well…She'd probably be blamed for it later... but it shouldn't be too much trouble.They don't kill people for things like that here, I guess.
"What do I do?H-He's gonna kill me!"It's just an expression? tears began to stream down, as if trying to give me a straight answer.
"Ouch! Fuck!" She cut her palm because of the rush and screamed. She didn't stop cursing until embraced herself in tears, her entire body trembling.
Soon the tears started mixing with the blood, as she quickly tried to wipe it away. Her crying was choked and nasal. rubbing her nose let out more wet sounds.The liquids mixing in a puddle of lamentation.
Her injured hand reached toward her chest, while rivers of tears and snot soiled her clothes, that was once elegant.
"Lord Beelzebub, you won't let this go. Not him. Not for a humble servant." Oh shit! There had to be a name like that...
"What should I do?" I don't know girl, shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kill you!
I despaired along with her, after all, I was more than empathetic. Right now I was with her and I was disguised as a piece of her soul, I was connected to her in a strange and enigmatic connection.
I am feeding.
I'm becoming stronger.
As soon as she felt or thought about something this started to be a part of me, almost as it always was, this was primitive and primordial for my existence. After all, that's what I truly was, knowledge and emotions at their most fundamental form.
I want to live more than any physical body would allow.
I want to love people who are far away from me beyond time and space.
I want to hate those rich who I still don't even meet.
And as such my wish was answered. in this distorted and beautiful way.
A being born of warm emotions and cold knowledge.
The will, or last desire, of a dead man.
And now, I choose to mix with the urge to make this servant survive. As well as her fear and thoughts.
Her will is my will.
Helping her will give me more power.
Increasing her thoughts will increase my power.
"They can never find out about this! That vase was a gift from another Lord, I'm going to die... I'm going to be murdered in front of an audience! I'll be burned to a crisp!" Her hands stretched to the top of the head, messing up the hair with force, gnashing her teeth fiercely
These emotions were a little induced…
Trying not to waste any more time. I merged two emotions, two types of fear, the fear of being caught and the fear of a terrible death. Those feelings existed in droves and soon they were blending together and starting to give birth to ideas.
I merged this with her turbulent and shallow knowledge of the house, which served as my own, and mine with hours of observation and experiments.
Soon a thought came to life...
"I'm going to get out of here as quickly as possible, if they ask me I'll make up an excuse on the spot. If they try to stop me, I'll try to run! Or fight, it doesn't matter as long as I survive!"
I sighed internally, trying to contain the chaos we were both going through at that moment. That thought, this was still shallow and mistaken, there were too many emotions mixed.
Too much fear led to irrational chaos.
I needed something more concrete.
But if I was too rational, I would waste more of my own energy and knowledge than I would receive from helping her.
I would become weaker and closer to my own death.
It had to be simple but effective...
"The lord... the lord won't know anything if it's not for the head of the servants, I just need to deal with him. But how…" Suddenly her hands slid down, the eyes were cold, and with a calm but determined look.
She slowly again grabbed a piece of the vase, which was now stained and sharp, watching with frightening eyes her own reflection tainted in blood.
A new feeling charging in her body, Determination.
She needs to be strong.
She will be strong.
But then she let out a sigh and shrugged letting all the determination escape her body.
As soon as this thought came to life, It was killed by It's mother.
Killed by an innocent flower, incapable of causing harm.
Preferring to die rather than killing.
I hesitated to continue this line of reasoning, this girl couldn't handle it.
I want to live and I want her to live, but I am more important.
She was a hopeless case, any more than that and I'd be sacrificing myself.I won't receive more energy that I was spending, At least she tried to be strong, giving up her power and lending to me.
Her mind was chaotic and that was good for me.
More caos more energy.
However, the knowledge of the servant leader began to wash over me, giving me a new perspective on the situation. A new thought was formed. Simple and straightforward, it required little or no effort.
"Me, not her, I just need to kill him myself." In this world of shadows, my voice couldn't be heard by anyone.
Suddenly, I strengthened the connection.
"Hey girl, I heard from a little bird that you need some help…" She froze as the shadows became darker, the color became more vivid as in a surreal painting. The feeling of someone hugging by her back and talking close in her ear.
She could feel the heat of my mouth.
"Wanna me to help you? Wanna make a simple little agreement?" There I was again… again decreeing the death of a man I never met.