IN FRANCISTOWN
Royalty's POV
I'm trying not to fall, I'm giving it my all, I'm working hard so that I'll survive but I don't know if I'll come out of this one alive. Sometimes, I feel like I'm not giving it my all because I don't see a change. I go to church and pray to God, each and every night, midnight, morning I do pray, but it seems like my prayers are not worth answered soon.
Why is God punishing me in this way? Did I do something to wrong God? So i ask myself every single day, am I not worth his mercy, am I not worth his forgiveness so that I can live the life of a happy child. I do everything by his rules, which is why I even go to church, but nothing is changing. It's like I'm making it worse by going to church. I know I'm no Saint, and I do wrong him, but can't I be forgiven? I'm his child after everything.
I'm struggling, I know, but there is nothing in this world that will make me choose myself over my kids I'm carrying. Yes, I'm 3 months pregnant with twins, but this has not been a good pregnancy to enjoy since day one. I've been sick since 2 weeks after I discovered that I'm pregnant.
Trust me I wanted to do an aborting but the doctor said I should go home, spend some days or rather he said a month, thinking about it and if my answer is still the same then I can come back again and he will do the abortion but I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.
How could I even imagine myself being a killer, I mean doing an abortion is more like killing there is not difference there when it comes to killing and so I decided to keep it but things haven't been the same again.
Me: "Oooh shit."
"Ooh, let me help you with that,"
She said, already picking up the salt shaker that had fallen down.
Me: "I've told you several times to leave the shop unattended."
Mrs Batsi: "If I don't come and check on you, little sis, then who will?"
Me: "ooh that's so sweet of you."
Mrs Batsi: "You are going to block 8 today?"
Me: "Ah nop, I'm not. Those nurses and doctors are shit I'm even considering not to go there ever again. "
Mrs Batsi: "But they do buy a lot."
Me: "Yes, they are, but I don't feel like going there anymore."
Mrs Batsi: "Just so you know, I can see you are not well today."
Me: "What do you mean? I haven't been well all these months. "
Mrs Batsi: "Well, you surely haven't been ok, but today it's worse. How about we go to the doctor and....."
Me: "Here we go again. Sisi, please, I'm ok. There is no need to waste money, ok? I'll finish selling this, then I'll rest. Deal?"This book belongs to Nothando Makachie, aka Lady Crown. If you see someone claiming it, please contact me at +26776927399. Thank you.
Mrs Batsi: "ok fune but if ypu don't get some rest by 14.00pm then I'll have no choice.......".
Me: "yeah yeah I know. Yes, sir, what do you wanna eat today?"
"How about I have something different today?"
Me: "Like?"
"Mabele, cabbage, beef and a salad just small."
Me: "No problem, just a minute."
Mrs Batsi: "Ok baby, I'll see you later."
Me: "Sure. Here you go sir".
I said, handing him the takeaway, and he took it smiling.
"Do you have enough food for like 15 people?"
Me: "Yeah, I think so."
"Get ready to go and make some food again because I'm telling my guys to come and test your food."
Me: "Really ok, sir, I'll be waiting for them."
He left, and I sat down after feeling dizzy, and it seemed like the headache was becoming worse today.
Me: "Ok ok just relax. Have some water. All shall be fine. "
I said talking yo myself.
"Maybe you should go and rest. I'll finish here."
Me: "Oh mma it's you, don't worry, I'm expecting some people and they will finishall this food."
Voice: "I guess boss was write."
I raised my head to see a lot of people. Like this is really more than 15, they are like what? 20 .
Me: "I thought your boss said you are 15".
"Well, you don't have to worry, even if you dish smaller potions , just make sure the plates are 24".
Me: "And you will pay how?"
"What do you mean? You multiply 24 by 20 obvious, which is ...."
"P480".
Me: "Ah ok let me start dishing."
I dished for 24 people like they wanted, and they sure gave me P480 when they were done eating and left. I packed all my things and started taking them to Mrs Batsi's shop since that's where I always put them at night.
Mrs Batsi: "You were lucky today, now home home, eat and rest."
Me: "Dumelang rra Batsi, sister, i still have to get some....". (Hello, Mr Batsi)
Her husband just nodes with a smile . I have noticed he is not much of words, I wonder if that's how he is even with his wife aline.
Mrs Batsi: "Don't worry, your brother-in-law here will get them for you with the car.".
Mr Batsi: "Yeah, those big pots, and I just agreed because I can see you are not well like she said, and in your condition, I think you should rest dear."
Yeah, I'm already showing, and it's easy to tell that I'm pregnant now. I guess it's because they are twins and not one. This is the first time Mr. Batsi has said more than two words to me. It's a first.This book belongs to Nothando Makachie, aka Lady Crown. If you see someone claiming it, please contact me at +26776927399. Thank you.
Me: "Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I'll be on my way then."
Mrs Batsi: "Good and rest enough please I beg of you."
Me: "It's just past 1, so I'll sleep until 5. Happy?"
Mrs Batsi: "Happy".
I went home, and I found mma Mkhize with her table with sweets, biscuits, and small different things, which is what she sells at the gate.
Me: "Afternoon mma".
Mma Mkhize: "Hello, nana, ypu cane back early today."
Me: "Well, by God's grace, my food is finished, so I get to rest until evening."
Mma Mkhize: "Sure, go and rest, my dear. You need it."
Few Months Ago
Me: "I think I have to go to the hospital because I'm getting worse day by day."
Mma Mkhize: "I thought so too, but I didn't want you to end up saying to me 'aah mma uyaphapha nge sharp'." (Aah, mother, you are too forward, I'm ok)
Me: (laughing) "Mma, I wouldn't say that to you. You know you are like my mother, so that's not something a child can say yo their parents. "
Mma Mkhize: (laughing) " If you say so, go my dear, see you when you get back."
Me: "Ok mma, see you later."
I took my phone and went to the nearest clinic and luckily I was on number 8 so around past 9 I went in.
Me: "What's wrong with me, doctor?"
I asked after he came back with the results from the laboratory.
Dr: "The only thing that I managed to find is that you are pregnant and....".
Me: "I'm not pregnant, doctor, there must be a mistake somewhere, I mean, the laboratorian must have made a mistake somewhere because I'm very much sure I'm not pregnant."
Dr: "Well, she didn't make any mistake dear".
Me: "What if we do it again, I mean, it doesn't take long, right?"
Dr: "we can do it again next time because you have to come back again after a month so that I can make sure that you are OK. Ypu will also need P1350 so that I'll be able to do everything I'm supposed to do. I can't treat you right now because your pregnancy is still two weeks, and there is a possibility of you losing the child if you undergo this treatment. "
Me: "What is wrong with me again?"
Dr: "What I'm simply saying is that your pregnancy has some complications so for me to try and keep you stable we have to wait until you are atleats a month then we will take it from there".
Me: "What if I say I want a divorce? I mean, it is the easiest way out. Doctor, I have no one or anything. What the hekl will I be doing bringing a child into my sour life?"
Dr: "Well, what if you go home? Think this through then if your answer is still the same after a month. Well, I'll go ahead with your option."
Me: "Thank you."
I took my phone and the documents then left. What am I supposed to do if I'm pregnant? I'm pregnant and alone in this world . Why would I bring a child into my mess life? I just have to go ahead with the abortion. There is nothing else I can do.
I went home when I arrived. Mma Mkhize was nowhere to be seen, so I just went into my room and slept.
ONE MONTH LATER
It's been a mother now since I went to the clinic, and nothing has changed, infact I'm even getting worse day by day. I'm sick like someone who has been sick for years while it's just a month. I have no choice but to go to the clinic again because I've been ignoring going to the clinic again.
I didn't want to go to the clinic this past month because I'm scared of the unknown, but I have no choice but to go again or else I'll die anytime. I can see death calling me, and I don't wanna go, so I'll just go to the clinic.
Me: "So there is no other choice?"
I just arrived at the clinic, and there are no people at all, so I just got in.
Dr: "You have to bring P1350, my sister, so that I can do the treatment. The government is not supplying things that are needed in the hospital because of the elections going on, so we will have to buy the things needed."
Me: "Are you sure there is no other way...."
Dr: "Well, there is another way. You can give ahead with the abortion you were so eager to...".
Me: "You can't say that, Dr., I'm not murder so that is not an action. I'll go and try to get the money, and I'll be back. "
Dr: "Please, my dear, dont take too long, not more than a week. One more thing, no stressing, please. "
Me: "Noted Dr.
I said as i left the doctor's office. I dont have enough money, even the money i have been selling. It's not enough. Remember, I just started the business, so it's getting better, but who can give me money? It's so much money. This book belongs to Nothando Makachie, aka Lady Crown. If you see someone claiming it, please contact me at +26776927399. Thank you.
Me: "How much can you give me for this phone?and Don't even try to ....".
Guy: "My sister, this phone is P1799 when it's brand new, so how long have you been using it?"
Me: "Less than a year."
Guy: "ok then, I'll give you 1500 because I'll only be able to sell it with better money after I change the cracked screen."
Me: "Thank you so much, I'm sure this P1500 is enough for me to get treated."
Guy: "Our government is shit. Now you have to sell a new phone at a cheap price for you to get treated. Please vote for me, and I'll make things right. " (Laughing)
Me: "Thank you for making me laugh, and thank you again for this money."
Guy: "You are welcome, my sister. Go well."
Yeah, I decided to go to town and sell my phone because I have no choice. I went home , slept, and woke up the next morning and got ready to go to the clinic.
Me: "Mma, the doctor said I should come back today again, so I'm leaving."
Mma Mkhize: (smiling) "I was correct, right? I'm gonna be a gogo again. "
Me: "ooh God, I'll see you later on."
I left and went straight to the clinic, and today, there are a lot of people, so I had to wait in line, and I was on number 21. I don't know what is happening, and I feel like today I'm worse. Even my body is weaker, and my eyes are heavy.
Me: "Mma, can you please hold my seat for me? I need some air."
Lady: "ok my dear, no problem, are you sure you will be ok? Because I can see you are not well. "
Me: "I think I just need some air, I'll be back."
I stood up, ready to go, and I felt dizzy, I stopped walking, and when I felt ok, I started walking again, but I fell on the floor unexpectedly. The next thing I could hear was people calling and shouting for help, and it was lights off for me.
I woke up to the sound of a machine, and I was alone. I couldn't see anything even if i opened my eyes, but i could feel that that I'm alone. It's like I'm blind or something. While I was lost in my thoughts, someone just entered, so I had to ask.
Me: "Who is it?"
"Ooh, you are awake. How are you feeling?"
Me: "Who are you again?"
"Don't tell me you can't see."
Me: "Unfortunately, yes, I can't see anything. My eyes are open, but I can see absolutely nothing."
"Ok, Royalty, it's me, Dr. Sid. I need you to close your eyes, open then, and i want you to tell me how many fingers am I raising?"
Me: "I can not even see your face, then how am I supposed to see your hands. Dr., what is going on with me? I'm not blind. I was not born blind so how can I be blind?"
Dr: "I need you to relax dear, I'll run some tests and see what is wrong. I'm sure it's not something big. Is there anyone I can call for you, a relative or something? "
Me: "You can call me, I don't want to bother people with my problems. Just see what you can do as soon as I can see I'll leave."
Dr: "ok, do you feel any pains, or anything, a headache?"
Me: "I just have some pain in my abdominal area, but can you fix my eyes first please".
Dr: "Here, drink this tablet for now it will ease the pain as I work on your tests."
Me: "Ok, thank you."
Dr: "Give me your hand, if you need anything just press this button and you will get help".
Me: "Ok , thank you."
To be continued..........
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