"I just… don't feel like living anymore..."
I can't recall the last time I was truly happy,
or even was I ever happy.
When I was 4 or 5 years old, I was declared an unwanted child by both mom and dad—they blamed me for their divorce.
A few years later, they even stopped supporting me: no money, no school fees, not even food.
So I had to work my ass off to survive in this cruel world. I started working 5 jobs
simultaneously and was always exhausted.
Still, the money I made was never enough.
My employers took a lot of advantage of my inexperience and desperation for money. No matter how hard I worked, my co-workers took the credit I deserved, making my income significantly less.
"Hey, Satoru! Tardy again because of work?" Mr. Kenta asked with a soft smile.
"Ya, I had part-time after school," Satoru replied.
"Don't overdo it, kid," said Mr. Kenta.
"Thank you for always worrying about me," replied Satoru.
(Satoru enters his small and dusty rented apartment)
Creeek! Opens the door.
Woha! This house appears like it might collapse any minute.
But it's the only thing I can afford. At least it's better than those times in winter where I had
to sleep in the kids' park.
Creepy rumble sounds can be heard from the old wood when he walked in.
"Grrooowl!" Satoru's stomach shouted.
"Oh man! I am starving to death."
Satoru approaches the dark kitchen with a flickering bulb.
His eyes darted across the barren shelves, hunting for the last traces of food.
Exhausted, Satoru lay on the floor, "Uuughghh…! Another night with a hollow stomach, and the game of starving to death continues.
It seems this nightmare will stretch for some time, as I had to pay my high school fees today.
Should I steal some coins from the blind beggar that sits near the station?
No… that would be devious, though it's not like I haven't committed that crime before. But I'll let him eat today, because I am a nice person… and I believe in equal suffering.
Can't do anything else… I should sleep then."
(Satoru bumps into the floor.)
"You are the reason my life became hell, Satoru."
"But Mom, I…"
"Shut up! You little dipshit. After ruining my life, now you talk back to me?"
"But Mom…" (Satoru in a shivering voice)
"I should've killed you the moment you were born."
(kid Satoru crying)
"Hey! You see that Satoru guy? I heard his parents divorced because of him." (Classmates whispering, with smiles on their faces)
"Arrrhhh!" (Satoru wakes up from a nightmare)
"How many times… God, will you make me suffer? How many times?" (in frustration)
"I didn't do anything… all I ever wanted was to be happy, like other kids." (Tone softens)
"I promise… all I ever wanted was a normal life." (crying)