Chapter 5: Party time at the park.
"You just lost three lives."
"They should be called hearts, not lives you hunk of junk!" I growled, glaring angrily at the screen's message, before quickly pressing the action button to get the dialogue moving.
Only for my avatar, this world's version of Link, to roll into a wall and lose more health to a random trap.
"Wow. This game isn't as good as the cover looked." Understatement of the fucking century Boomer. This version of Zelda sucked ass. The fact that it had the audacity to use one of my favorite Nintendo games as a skinsuit was just the cherry on the top of this waste of plastic and electronics.
The game that I thought would help me calm my nerves and relax was turning out to be a nightmare to play. There was no doubt in my mind that whoever made this didn't give the slightest shits about what they were cooking.
Delayed inputs, broken enemies, inconsistent hitboxes, map structures that were outright labyrinths, and puzzles that didn't have rhyme or reason to them!
I could go on, but this was just getting outright annoying. Honestly, despite the beatdown I received from the Powerpuff Girls, I was at least happy I didn't waste my hard earned stolen money on this slop!
Even the CDI games had something to enjoy if you found their cutscenes hilarious!
No kid would have the patience to play this broken game…
And I was quickly reaching the end of mine!
'Seriously!? How the hell could someone fuck up Zelda this bad!?' The fact that the Mario rip-off wasn't a bad game gave me hope that this version of Zelda wouldn't be bad.
That hope was in vain.
"Hey, Hey, Hey! Watch out!"
'It's a sad day when the fairy isn't even the worst part of a Zelda game anymore.' My hands clenched the controller, as I nervously menuevered Link around the dungeon. Then an enemy came out of one of the corridors and in my attempt to fight him off… I accidently hit my fairy in the middle of it.
"You just killed your own fairy? Start Over?"
A vein appeared on my head as I was carefully trying to not lose my temper. I took a calm deep breath, trying to ignore the obnoxious sniggering coming from behind me. My brothers had their own TVs now, but it seems that they found my struggling and frustration incredibly amusing.
Assholes.
The air around Mojo's house shifted from my strong inhale and exhaling.
Seemingly oblivious to the danger he might be putting himself in, our houseguest decided to put his own two cents in.
"First time? That's happened to me before too. I find that I always feel better taking a break if a game is getting on my nerves…that or munching on a pickle." The mayor asked, unwittingly annoying me by being part of the peanut gallery. He was tied up to a chair right next to Miss Bellum. Which seemed to put him in enough of a pleasant mood despite his predicament.
'Surprised he's even willing to talk to me given how I kidnapped Miss Bellum… and then him.'
My brothers and I had kidnapped him from his office earlier this morning. Mojo wanted to make his takeover of Townsville official, and having Shorthat sign it off to us at the end of our party would make it all the more sweeter.
Personally? I would have just gotten it done earlier, but I was more concerned with preparing myself for tonight.
If there was any night the Powerpuff Girls would show up, it would be this night. There were too many event flags raised for it to not be the case. Maybe they would subvert my expectations, and not show up, but I couldn't take any chances.
I turned to look at the Mayor, silently trying to read him. His beady eyes looked at me with no sign that he was trying to pull something or make fun of me. Though to be fair, his eyes told me that there wasn't much signal going on in that brain of his to begin with.
"Yeah… I think you're right, Shorthat." I replied, putting the controller down. It really wasn't worth getting frustrated over a video game. And if even the Mayor of all people was making a rational argument… might as well save myself further embarrassment.
"I am? Jeez, I think the last person who ever said that to me was my mother. God rest her soul." With how much of a manchild he acted like, it was hard for me to remember that this guy was in his 60s.
"Was she a toilet bowl too?" Boomer asked, sounding genuinely curious. Brick didn't even look at him before smacking him upside the head. Though I noticed that by his standards it was half-hearted.
Though I did tell him that hitting Bomer too hard might make him stupider. There's only so much head trauma a superpowered kid can handle after all. Was he actually listening to my advice?
That's incredible progress on his part.
"Stop asking dumb questions, Boomer."
I rolled my eyes before going back to one of the tables to work on my device. It was something I had been working on the past few days. Grabbing a screwdriver, I went over to unlatch the device's inner workings.
It needed some adjustments.
I didn't really have any solid ideas of what my very first invention would be at first. The classics like laser weapons, or explosives really didn't appeal to me since I was essentially a flying brick and could destroy almost anyone with my own strength.
Then the Powerpuff Girls happened. And that was when I felt inspired. While recovering from my injuries, my mind drifted off into odd thoughts out of boredom. And one particular thought struck me.
What if I could find a way to make myself intangible?
So I buckled the fuck down, and with Mojo's help, I was able to figure out how to to make…
The Phantom Slip!
'…Still should work on the name.' Besides not really sounding the impressive, it sounds like a sleezy date rape drug. I also thought about Inviso-bill, a reference to Danny Phantom, but that was just lame.
Thankfully I hadn't told anyone what I called it yet.
Anyway, it was a device disguised as a wrist watch that could turn my body intangible and thus impervious to harm and capture! I was still a newbie in the field of science compared to Mojo Jojo, so other ghost-like features like invisibility haven't been figured out yet. And Mojo Jojo was thankfully willing to help out.
Normally he would let me figure things out myself.
Maybe the close call I had with the Powerpuff girls had spooked him…
We had spent hours testing the initial prototypes yesterday, and fine tuning it. One initial problem was just keeping the damn thing stable. Sometimes it would work partially, turning my arms or legs intangible.
Other times it would blow up in our faces.
Literally.
Much to the amusement of my brothers.
I was really lucky I could fly. I said it before in my mental monologues, but it cannot be understated how fucking convenient flying was for me. Never again will I have to deal with traffic. And most importantly…
Flight was a necessary second power to make intangibility work if you didn't want to sink down into the earth.
Eventually though we finally got it to work. Mojo Jojo was currently busy setting things up outside.
Tables, chairs, and a big stand. Hijacking the entire news network.
Typical stuff you'd find at a concert.
Though instead of playing rock music, it would be a mutated chimp with an oversized brain gloating to the rest of his peers of his victory.
Anyway, one thing that I haven't been able to figure out was the battery life. The phantom slip was an energy hog. Seriously, it took less than 5 minutes for it to drain the little battery I had attached to it.
So until I figured out a solution to extend its power, I really needed to not spam it too much.
'Using to evade will be easy. Can't be used for offense too much though. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together will put things together and destroy it.' Attaching the watch to my hand, my hands twisted the clock arms until it was at 4pm. The time we were currently at.
The party was due in three hours, so it was going to get one hell of a field test if the girls decided to show up today.
Though I had to admit, another thought came to my mind a bit after we finished it..
Given how the Powerpuff Girls were fast enough to move through time, I wonder if I can pull some bullshit flash shit? Like vibrating my molecules fast enough to phase through solid matter? It would be smarter to be hopeful that I could do such a thing. So that I'm not reliant on the device.
…But a part of me is proud of what I made, and didn't want it to become a useless trinket I outgrew.
It was my first invention after all.
"Blast?" Miss Bellum's voice called out my name. Bringing me out of my thoughts. My eyes glanced over at the Mayor's secretary. She was dressed back in her classic outfit. A request I managed to get Mojo Jojo to fulfill by asking for it. Pointing out that it'll make his takeover more legitimate.
"Yes?" I can't imagine what she'd possibly want to say to me now. Since I brought her over to Mojo Jojo's, she hadn't really spoken to anyone. The few times she did was to ask for food, water, or a quick trip to the restroom.
Whatever she had to say, it must be something she only wanted me to hear. My brothers had already left the building to partake in snacks while I was tinkering with the phantom slip. Ugh. Even in my mind that sounded lame!
"Can you spare a moment to listen to me?" She replied, her voice soft, and clearly trying to be as soothing as possible. A part of me was tempted to say no, but given how much trouble I put her through in my attempts to keep myself alive, I guess I owed her that little bit of courtesy.
"Shoot. Not like I have much better to do."
"You don't have to be a supervillain if you don't want to. You still have a chance to walk out of this." My eyes blinked in surprise, and for a brief moment, the room went completely pin-drop silent. I didn't expect her to try this sort of tactic...
It took me an embarrassing amount of time for me to think of a response.
"Pardon me, I must still have misheard you…" I replied back, crossing my arms over my chest with a frown on my face.
"No, you didn't mishear me."
"You can't be serious." My frown quickly turned into a deadpan expression as I realized that she was being entirely sincere. What was she thinking? I thought she was supposed to be one of the rational adults in this zany town! "Are you seriously trying to talk me out of this? Me? The kid who kidnapped you, and imprisoned you inside Fuzzy Lumpkin's cabin? What makes you think I'll even listen to a word you'll say?"
"To be fair, I did manage to talk you out of playing that video game. And I'm not as smart as Miss Bellum so-"
"I appreciate the self-awareness, but be quiet Short hat! The adults are talking here."
"Sorry."
With that out of the way, I turned my attention back to Miss Bellum. An expectant look on my face.
"Well?"
"You're brothers have complained about you-"
"That's nothing new." I snorted, getting an irritated huff from Miss Bellum from my interruption. "Go on, I won't interrupt again."
"...complained about you not joining in their destructive rampages. And avoiding hurting any of the folk in the park. Why? Why didn't you join them?"
"Beating up a bunch of normies and destroying things doesn't give me any joy. It's honestly more of a chore to be honest." I shrugged, not really sure why she thought that was a winning endorsement of goodness. Popping my fingers, I continued. "My brothers have their kicks, and I have mine. Just because I didn't join in, doesn't mean I've got a sliver of goodness in me. You might want to have a therapist check you for Stockholm Syndrome later."
I didn't see it, but for some reason, I could feel her eyes narrow at me.
"I still remember when we first met, and I asked you why you were kidnapping me. You told me; 'I'm just afraid.' " My posture stiffened. That was a short moment of weakness I had hoped she had forgotten about. Seeing that her words had some effect, she seized the opportunity to press further. "It was always in the back of my mind. What were you so afraid of?"
I stayed silent, figuring that anything I could say would give her mental ammunition against me.
"Then you and your brothers came back from your trip yesterday. And they were talking about something interesting…"
"Was it about how stupid they looked?" I scoffed, thinking about that incident yesterday still made my blood boil. Did those morons not know that they were playing with fire? I was so worried that one of us was going to catch cooties and just blow the fuck up!
The next words that came out of her mouth made me feel like my blood had turned into ice.
"No… It was about how you were scared about catching cooties!"
'She knew. She knew. She knows!' My face was pale as snow and my mind was quickly panicking as I tried to calm myself down. To no avail. A wave of overwhelming dread hit me as the last person besides the Powerpuff girls had finally connected the dots.
And figured out what our kryptonite was!
Damn my overly talkative brothers!
Damn her sharp mind!
And damn me for not thinking about plugging her fucking ears the whole time we were here!
Fuck!
"Listen to me, please! I know you're scared but it doesn't have to- "Before Miss Bellum could finish her sentence, my hand reached out for the spare duck tape on the table and closed her mouth shut.
"You are way too smart for your own good!" I growled. Not really interested in hearing what else she had to say. This was bad! Seriously bad! Of all the times she could figure out our weakness… Why did it have to be now!?
"Wow! Are you okay young man? You looked like you saw a gho-" Before the mayor could finish his sentence, I also closed his mouth. Mostly because he was really annoying. But I also needed a moment to calm down before I lost it!
The party was going to happen soon, and I needed to be at my best today.
The lives of me and my brothers were at stake now.
My expectations for this party were pretty low. While Mojo Jojo was capable of being perfectly civilized and orderly when needed, the criminals of townsville were for the most part a bunch of petty thugs and criminals. Lowlives with low impulse control who I would have to keep an eye on in case they tried anything funny.
And I was proven right when three of them tried to harass Miss Bellum while she was tied to the chair. I think it was Trevor and his buddies Sid and Bubba? He was the one who had come up with the idea of disguising themselves as the Powerpuff girls so that they could commit crimes unopposed.
A scheme that honestly only got as far as it did because the citizens of Townsville were really fucking stupid. Those three weren't really brilliant. Just extremely lucky that the vast majority of folk in this city were dense as hell.
Hell now that I think about it, didn't the Powerpuff girls get confused by it too?
…
'I should stop thinking about it before I get a migraine.' Anyway, I had to straight up deck him before he got the picture that Miss Bellum wasn't touching. His buddies attempted to try and jump me, but it was laughable easy to make those two cower by lifting them up by their throats into the air.
Being a superpowered kindergarten will never get old.
Didn't plan on being a bouncer, but someone had to be. My brothers wouldn't have cared to intervene, and Mojo Jojo wasn't paying attention at that moment.
And when he found out, Mojo Jojo wasn't particularly happy with them. While he didn't care about Bellum as a person, even he had standards about sexual harassment. Needless to say, those three were scared shitless when Mojo Jojo threatened to use them as test subjects for his weapons.
So they made the extremely smart decision of getting the hell out.
And as a bonus, the rest of the goons in the area I noticed leering at Bellum were a lot more keen to keep their eyes to themselves.
The special visitors like HIM and Fuzzy, at least didn't cause any trouble. My creator was currently having a pleasant conversation with them, which suited me just fine. The two of them hadn't really gone over to talk to us, but I could tell that HIM was observing us with keen interest.
Hopefully he isn't planning on getting me or my brothers involved with any of his schemes.
Though it amused me that Fuzzy seemed particularly keen on keeping his distance from me.
There were other main antagonists that had shown up to the party that I hadn't bothered to interact with.
Sure, me and my brothers ran into them while we were out terrorizing Townsville, but it wasn't under friendly circumstances.
The Rowdyruff Boys didn't respect anyone. Not even the other villains of Townsville. While I didn't join in when they were bullying the local villains, I didn't stop them either. It was honestly pretty fucking funny to watch.
Except the Amoeba Boys. They really didn't deserve to have that ass kicking. Even if they for some odd reason thought my brothers attacked them because they were the Powerpuff Girls.
Speaking of, I'm kinda sad those guys didn't show up. I'd have liked the chance to apologize for my brothers using them as a punching bag. And try to get them to understand that my brothers weren't the girls.
My brothers beat them a lot harder than the others simply because of that mistaken identity.
'Though that did bring up an odd thought: What if my brothers were girls instead of boys…?' I thought over what could change, and shuddered. The idea of having three evil sisters to deal with was horrifying to contemplate. 'Thank god for small mercies. Those three are a handful enough to deal with as boys, but at least I can punch them and get some respect. That tactic wouldn't work with girls. I bet I would constantly have to watch myself around them to avoid hurting their feelings.'
Immediately looking for a change of topic in my mind, I looked over to see the other special guests.
The Gangreen Gang were currently busy playing cards with each other. While gorging themselves on the free food. Probably the only reason they came over here since my father and them weren't on the best of terms.
Hell, pretty sure they didn't like the Rowdyruff boys either since we used them as punching bags once.
Had to admit, they were much uglier to look at in person then in the cartoon. Especially Grubber.
I'd rather not look at them for longer than I needed to… and thinking about it, I'm feeling snackish.
"Hey you guys, I'm going to go get some snacks. Do you three want anything?" My instincts as a proper sibling kicked before I could stop myself. Oh well. It's best to ask anyway so I didn't get bitched at.
"Yeah! I want some soda!" Boomer raised his hand, not taking his eyes off his handheld for a single second. Boomer and Brick both asked for the same thing before returning to playing video games with Boomer.
I rolled my eyes at their behavior. Truly stealing video games was the best decision I had ever made. No matter the dimension, the best way to pacify violent bored boys was to shove video games down their throats.
Even Brick gave in once he actually decided to try it. And he had derided games as nothing more than a nerd hobby at first.
I flew over to one of the table counters, and grabbed two buns for my burgers. Ignoring the criminals who were trying their best to give me a wide berth. After grabbing a pack of soda, I started to make my plate. As I did so, I caught sight of something that left me feeling embarrassed on behalf of my entire gender.
Near the entrée table was a woman with long flowing black hair. Hair that seemed to sway and move around like it was alive. This woman's skin was pale white, and her eyes were a vibrant lime green color. The freckles located beneath both of her eyes gave her a childlike feeling as well.
Though honestly the most eye catching thing was what she was wearing. Across her torso she wore a red leotard, which showed plenty of skin and cleavage, Her legs were covered with a black skin tight pantyhose. The woman's hands were covered by a pair of red gloves while her feet were covered with red boots.
Spoiler: Sedusa
It wasn't hard for me to recognize Sedusa… I highly doubt her outfit was appropriate for anything but a nightclub. Though It wasn't the outfit that was bothering me.
It was the men surrounding and simping for her that was embarrassing me.
I'll admit that she's incredibly hot and knows how to flaunt it… but there should be a limit to how much a man should throw away his dignity for a woman!
Let alone one like her who has a history of manipulating and disregarding men once they serve her purposes!
"Oh, you're just an absolute sweetheart For me, you shouldn't have~" She cooed as she took a rather obnoxiously shiny diamond out of one of the crook's hands. and stuffed it between her cleavage. Which I noticed didn't have any bra whatsoever on them.
'This chick doesn't have an ounce of shame does she… I can almost respect the hustle. Keyword being almost.' My deadpan expression turned downwards at the two thugs who were currently busy polishing her boots. With dopey lovestruck looks on their faces.
Absolutely disgusting.
"Attention, all of you! Listen to me, Mojo Jojo! I have words that must be noticed. Words that must be heard, words that need to be listened to! By all of you!"
Suddenly, a booming but familiar voice started talking from the microphone. My eyes quickly went up to the stand, where Mojo Jojo was currently standing up and speaking from the microphone. Albeit he needed dog stairs to be able to reach it.
The Mayor and Miss Bellum were right next to him, currently still silent due to the tape I had placed around them.
"Get to your seats. Approach the chairs, I, Mojo Jojo, have set up for you! "
Looks like Mojo Jojo was finally ready to begin his speech. Don't know why he waited this long, but I guess he first wanted to catch up with his friends. And knowing dear old pops, he'll drag this speech the hell out.
Good thing I have my food ready.
I flew back over to where my brothers were seated. As I expected, they hadn't even really paid attention to Mojo Jojo's announcement. Though they did perk up a bit when I put their sodas right next to them.
A large camera crew started walking down to the front of the stadium. Who didn't look too happy to be there given the guns pointed at their backs.
That was… concerning. Guess my chimp dad couldn't have been bothered to make a device to hijack the news network. Or maybe he just wanted to terrorize some more people. It was kinda hard to enjoy my meal with live hostages, and I resolved to quickly finish my meal in case the thugs got itchy fingers.
Last thing I wanted was for a death to be broadcasted live on TV.
Once he noticed that everyone was firmly seated down, and that the cameras were rolling, Mojo Jojo nodded in satisfaction to himself before beginning his own grand speech.
"Citizens of Townsville, I Mojo Jojo, have taken control over your pitiful news channel. Hijacked the station! My announcement is a declaration, and proclamation, of my complete and utter victory over the wretched Powerpuff Girls!" Mojo Jojo basked in the cheers of his fellow villains, and let it soak in for a moment. He then held his hand up and the cheering stopped. He then smiled evilly as he continued. "How, you feeble minded fools might ask? Your dimwitted morons are probably scrambling for answers. I'll happily give it to you! The answer was simple, plain, and quite straightforward really! Fight fire with fire! Or in this case, fight superpowers with superpowers! I destroyed those superpowered bratty do-gooder girls with my own Rowdy and rough boys!"
"My children! Come up here and introduce yourselves to the helpless people of Townsville!" At Mojo Jojo's crowing words, Brick, Butch, and Boomer, put their handhelds to the ground and flew over to the stand. With evil smiles on their faces. Following quickly behind them with a stoic frown, my feelings were mixed.
I was a little surprised that Mojo Jojo would bother giving any of us credit.
Still, I appreciated the gesture.
Even if he probably still thought of us as nothing but tools.
"Hey Sissies of Townsville!" Of course Brick would take the damn lead first. Picking up the damn microphone and putting it to his mouth so everyone would have the misfortune to hear his grating voice. Typical of him. " The name's Brick, and I'm the leader of the Rowdyrough Boys! We were made to kick some butt!"
Brick passed to Butch.
"And boy did we! I'm Butch! Remember it when I start pounding you into the dirt!" Butch then giggled loudly before he eventually passed it to Boomer.
"My name's Boomer. Nice to meet you!" I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes, and I could feel the annoyance radiating off Brick and Butch. Even Mojo seemed a bit put off by the start, but Boomer didn't seem to notice it and continued; "We're the strongest, toughest, meanest, and grossiest supervillains ever! Those dumb girlies didn't stand a chance! We sent them crying home to their mommy!"
I was tempted to point out that they only had a single father, but frankly I was proud of Boomer for being able to keep his speech straight. For the most part. That little slip up with being a little too adorable at the start was a mistake, but he's learning!
'...Okay, screw it. This is too fun not to partake in!' I graciously took the mic from Boomer, making sure to keep my face straight as I put it to my face despite the butterflies floating in my stomach from the sheer excitement I felt.
"Greetings. My name is Blast. And I'm not just here to introduce myself like my brothers, but to give a warning to anyone who might get funny ideas." I replied, my tone still mellow but there was an edge to it. And I bet more than a few of the villains noticed how my eyes swept over all of them too.
Which was good. I wanted everyone, whether it be civilians or criminals, to pay attention.
"Our father created us to not only destroy the Powerpuff Girls, but to be better than them. I'm sure everyone knows what they were capable of… and by extension knows what we're capable of. This is the only warning I'm going to give. So pay attention." Noticing the frowns on some of the villains, I continued. "Townsville is ours. We rule this city now. And I will make an example of anyone who tries to oppose us. Be they wannabe heroes, or upstarts seeking to dethrone us. If you're still not intimidated, I'll show you a reason to fear us…"
Now to give them an idea of what kind of power we were packing.
"Hey Boomer, could you hold this for a moment?" Boomer nodded, but looked a bit confused about what I was doing. I raised my arms high up in the air before turning my back around to the back of the stadium.
And then I clapped my hands together as hard as I could. The deafening shockwave not only obliterated the back of the stadium, but ripped apart the ground behind it with concussive energy. My arms were shaking a bit, but frankly seeing the terrified looks on most of the villains faces was satisfying to look at.
…Though the villain I wanted to scare the most, HIM, was still smiling. Like he had watched a puppy do a cute trick.
That soured my mood a little.
And what soured it even more was the reaction from my family.
"Show off!" Brick scoffed, crossing his arms at me while looking away. I bet he was just jealous that my introduction was far more intimidating and cooler.
Mojo Jojo picked himself off from the ground, and held his arms behind his back as he spoke. With a tone that was reminiscent of a parent who disapproved of a child's methods but was being patient with them.
"I can understand why you showed off the destruction, and ruin you can give to our enemies. Appreciate your evil intentions and ambitions. I, Mojo Jojo, do. I Mojo Jojo do reject, oppose, and firmly stand against the timing you chose to do it though! We haven't even gotten the paperwork signed yet!"
"...Sue me for having fun I guess." I crossed my arms, cheeks puffed up with embarrassment.
"You should have aimed it towards the camera. You'd have gotten a better camera shot." Butch critics, causing me to give him an annoyed look.
"The camera would have been destroyed if I did that idiot!" I rebuked, my hand barely able to catch his fist before it could collide with my face. "You know I'm right! Now go sulk somewhere else before I give you a concussion!"
"You're the one sulking like a sissy!" The raventte restored back with a grin, attempting to make an effort to reach down at my pants to pull them down. I growled with anger, before deciding to vent my anger out on him since he seemed so eager to push my buttons.
Boomer seemed lost at what to say to us… until some very strange, yet familiar people showed up right in front of us.
"Halt, evildoers!"
"Who are you guys!?"
I paused from my fight with Butch at my blonde brother's alarm. The moment I saw them, my eyes widened in shock. Standing before us was about 12 people. That wasn't what was shocking me though.
I was in shock because I recognized who the hell I was staring at.
'What the fuck are the Justice Friends doing here!?'Last edited: Jun 14, 2025 Like Quote ReplyReport Reactions:ShanLi, sicksock, Ruffleflufflebakedpotato and 703 others