Chapter 5 five - MOTHER-IN-LAW PALAVA

Mother-in-Law Palava

Chapter 5 – The Pastor and the Hidden Recorder

I didn't sleep well that night. Not with Lady Dorcas praying loud enough to wake Lazarus, and Aunty Sade pacing the corridor like a security guard with unpaid salary. The house was hot, and not from PHCN wahala — from tension.

I was still thinking of how to deal with their planted evidence when my friend, Ada, called me early the next morning.

"Temi, you sound tired. You sure say you never run mad in that house?"

I chuckled. "Small madness dey knock the door. I fit open soon."

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Later that day, as I was sweeping the living room, Lady Dorcas strolled in dramatically, holding her Bible like she just came from Mount Sinai.

"Temidayo," she said, "God told me in a dream that deliverance is needed in this house. I've invited Pastor Emmanuel."

I paused. "Pastor Emmanuel? The one that shakes when he prays?"

"Yes. He's very powerful. Demons confess when he enters."

Aunty Sade added, "He also works with the police. He can detect lies from body temperature."

My heart skipped. "Detect what?!"

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Two hours later, the pastor arrived. Tall, lean, and wearing a white suit that screamed "anointing overload."

"Good afternoon, ma," I greeted, my voice as fake as their fasting.

"Let us pray," he thundered.

As he prayed, he moved closer and closer to me like I was the demon he came to evict. Then he paused. "The Holy Spirit just revealed something."

Here we go.

"I see… a spirit of seduction in this house."

Lady Dorcas gasped like she won lottery. "It's her! She uses red perfume!"

Aunty Sade added, "She wears waist beads! I saw them in the laundry!"

"Pastor, please," I said, "don't mind them."

But the man continued. "There's a man spirit around her. And—wait—the spirit just showed me… a hidden device!"

That's when I froze.

Because… I had actually planted a voice recorder under the sofa.

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Flashback to two days ago.

After their marine fish drama, I called Ada and she brought a small recorder for me — one that looked like a flash drive. I'd hidden it under the sofa, hoping to catch them planning their evil schemes.

And now this Pastor was either truly gifted… or someone had snitched.

He looked straight at me. "Do you have anything to confess?"

I smiled sweetly. "Yes, Pastor. I confess… that I'm tired of being the only sane person in a house full of actors."

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Later that night, I played back the recording while Femi was home. And guess what?

Clear as day, we heard Aunty Sade saying, "Just put the necklace under their bed. And write a fake letter in Yoruba. Temi can't even read it!"

Lady Dorcas replied, "Good. Femi will believe it came from a Yoruba lover."

Femi's mouth opened like NEPA just restored power.

"You see?" I folded my arms. "This is your mother and aunty. Plotting Nollywood episodes in real life."

He stood up. "Mama! Aunty! We need to talk!"

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As the argument started, I smiled and went to the kitchen to make popcorn.

Because sometimes, you just need to let the drama unfold.

To be continued…

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Chapter 5 - Chapter 5 five